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| there are so many things i want this year..for myself and for my friends, and for our community.
i think something's telling me to do some stuff. i've been catching myself in some sins. the bible says that when we know what we ought to do, but dont do it, we sin. so..throughout these past few years, i've learned a lot. God has blessed me in SO many ways. He's taught me what real Christianity means and the things that are available to us. He's taught me about the Spirit. and He's taught me about Himself. i've grown to know more and more about this great Person who created us and how we can show Him our gratitude. so yah, i can go on and on, and you can read my past journals of everything that the Spirit has witnessed to me. but, if i dont apply these things..if i dont give back what i've received, it's no good.
so i'm thinking...what can i do? i need a good shirley-day to figure out this plan. haha. i'm sure i can find very applicable things that i can do to carry out what i've learned. it is quite exciting.
second thing consists of things i want to learn. something that was said this past weekend really struck me + brought me back to re-evaluating where i am. it is when we love God, that we learn to love the things He loves, including His people. and as we love God more and more, we develop compassion. "Loving God" and "knowing His love" has always been something i've thought about..but can honestly say that i dont really know much about. yes, technically, i know God loves me. but do i love Him? hmm.
i've thought about it. i like learning things about God and about what we need to do as Christians. i like doing things for people when i see that it's something that can genuinely help them on further. but is the basis of this love? i cant say it is..because i dont think i really know how to love God. i know i have a relationship with the Father, but is it intimate? i dont know. i know we talk, but sometimes it feels like it's just that. so this is something i want to pursue this year. to know what it is to love God. and i know He will show me..bc He showed me this JUST when i was thinking this over "...that He who has begun a good work in you will comlete it until the day of Jesus Christ." (philippians 1:6). God is definately awesome in my books. haha.
something else with that...God says that He recognizes those who love Him by those who obey Him. this is definately a thinker. maybe God is telling me that to know Him more, perhaps an applicably tangent thing i can start with is...to follow His commands. and this connects to what i was saying before about doing what i've learnt. and THEN..another verse came about: Psalm 119:32 says "i will run the course of Your commandments, for you shall enlarge my heart." so perhaps my hypothesis is true? hmm.
i definately miss TO. but the excitement of God's plans definately smooths the transition. here's a little encouragement for those who need it. two of my amazing Tigers girls made it onto UT varsity team (YAYY!) and she was telling me about all the stuff she gets for free..like volleyball apparel. and if u know me..u know i like stuff..esp stuff that connects to stuff i love. haha. so i was thinking about it, and realized i was coveting. i imagined buying more vball gear and all that. and then that night, i read part of psalm 119 again (i'm LOVING this psalm by the way). the psalmist says "i have rejoiced in the way of your testimonies, as MUCH as in all riches." this guy/girl is saying how they REJOICE/get super excited/CELEBRATE in God + in the things He does/shows etc as MUCH as in all the things that could be considered riches. wowe. that's definately something to aspire to. my riches in this case is vball stuff. haha. oh man i'm so lame.
i miss you all you TO people + memories. prayer transcends all time and a whole lotta distance. =) for all of you i wilL!
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Philippians 4:8-9 "Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things."
sometimes it's SO easy to get caught up in life things..and start to compromise your thinking. throughout these past few years at western, i've learned a lot from the Lord. He's been so gracious in showing me things and teaching me how to live a better life for Him. and even with that, i've managed to turn my back on these learned truths, even if it was for a second. sigh. it's hard. it's hard to give up things that seem so "good", but is not GREAT. u know what i mean? God's asked us to follow His commands and to walk in His ways...so dont stray, to the left or the right. we must keep focused. ajaja! fighting!
so summer is closed...down. that is so sad. but of course, where there's an end, there's a beginning! i have no doubt that there are TONNES of exciting things that will happen this year. God is gonna make things happen! woot woot. so be prepared world!
here's a little picture update of what's been going on for the past few weeks.
STARLIGHT CHARITY BALL -----------------
sometimes it's always good to go through something tough. u never know who you can help. u never know how much you can grow from it. Thank you to those who showed their love by supporting it and doing something about it =)
my western girls
THE WAY -------------------
softball came to a close. The WAY 2006 is done. BUT we managed to grab the 3 year title of the Most Appreciated Team! i'm sooooo proud of the team!
if we go out, we go out in style. the WAY finishes off at semis
us grabbing 2 out of 3 awards at the banquet
FLYING TIGERS (DC tournament) -------------------
i met some GREAT people this summer...and these girls made travelling expenses worth it. Going to mississauga, NYC and Washington was a BLAST this summer! We didnt do as well as we wanted, but it was FUN and we got a glimpse of how good we could become =)
Tigers rookies initiation. the girls were SO cute!
vida + me in action
KARYN + JOE'S WEDDING -----------------
it really does make a difference when you see that two people's love for each other comes from the love of the Lord. This weekend was a real reminder of what real love is. it is not that mushy stuff that makes you feel fuzzy. but it is that perfect love that has a sweet taste and brings comfort and peace. =) congrats to the newly weds!
gorgeous church located in UT campus
me + the BEAUTIFUL bride
parrt of our table
me + my wuju (where's MY ring???)
so long summer = so long beaches, free time, random fun
PEACE OUT!
so good bye summer, good bye TO ;) gonna miss it all, but it's time to get on with what's next..
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| hmmm. so many things that are puzzling me right now. no real concensus of what to think...
i had a dream last night. i remember seeing this creature thing. I had a gut feeling that it was harmful and would try to harm my friends. so i whipped out the "in the name of Jesus get away!". but...it didn't work.. i tried it several times, using different words. but it didnt work. i even tried to touch it hoping that my hand would burn the thing's skin...but nothing worked. i dont remember what else happened. but i just woke up confused. does this mean anything? why didn't it work? i need a dream interpreter. Joseph?
softball season has come to an end =(. the end of summer is here and it's always sad. with the closing ceremonies of softball and volleyball, the start of all my packing...it's time to say goodbye to TO. sigh. it does suck..but i know there's something great that the Lord has in store for me in London. no doubt. =) been reflecting on the season...about my role and how everything turned out. and i gotta say that i'm not too impressed. i'm VERY proud of the WAY..for sure. i feel like we definately pulled our weight as a team to demonstrate unity and encouragement in CCSA...but for myself, i'm not as happy with.
i've just been confused of how to connect competition and being a Christian. i LOVE competition..especially in sports i enjoy..like volleyball. there's just this beautiful intensity that comes with the game. but when are you being too "hardcore"? it's not a good thing when you take the game too lightly, because you really need to build up the intensity to really be IN the game. but at the same time the game really isnt everything in the scheme of eternity. oh man.
and helping to coach this year was hard. our team unexpectedly made it to the semi finals of playoffs. woot woot. but we couldn't perform. our game just didnt come through. i got upset because i know i wasnt playing my game..and got frustrated that we were SO close...if only..then we could've made a statement. so i was pretty upset. and i got more upset because i realized i got upset during the game. comprende? sigh. i KNOW this league is a minstry...even though that idea has changed throughout the years, it's no excuse. if you're not part of the solution..you're part of the problem. maybe it's time to say good bye..? hmm. definately something to think about
asking the Lord for wisdom. i really dont know what to think. i'm still hoping that it is something the Lord has sent. but i must be strong! there is no time to compromise. i belong to the Lord.
other than all that. things have DEFINATELY been fun. the weekend was filled with cheers + dancing + embarrassment. haha. here are some pictures
the last practise of WAY2006 =)
the western ladies ready for the Ball
mikie's shoes...the way goes out in STYLE. yellow fever
more to come
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| wow. summer is
coming to an end. noooooo. four months can pass by just like that! i
can only hope and pray that the time that i'd be given was used well. I
feel like i'm learning day by day the things i need to do as a sister
in this family of Christ and also what i need to do to be a better
woman of God.
Our worship team has introed us with the song "From the Inside Out" by
Hillsongs. I love the tune of it...and I really yearn for it. Here's
part of the song that just really got me this past sunday:
"In my heart and my soul
Lord I give You control
Consume me from the inside out
Lord let justice and praise
Become my embrace
To love you from the inside out."
I guess I've been trying so hard in various situations to push for
certain things. And recently, i feel that i've been let down. that i
failed in some aspect. that i need to do more or i didnt do enough. but
u know what? God has given us commands. But He is also the creator +
controller of this universe. No matter what happens after you obey the
Lord, we need to learn to let it go and give it up to Him. "Lord i give
you control, consume me from the inside out". We are mere servants.
Trust. Trust the Lord with all your heart...lean not on your own
understanding. so hard. but go times.
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